Not All Shits And Giggles

A rough framework of this blog post has been patiently waiting in the wings for quite some time now, probably starting to wonder if it would ever see the light of day. Although I had tweaked it a couple of times, I never felt that it was quite ready for reveal. In truth, I wasn’t quite ready for the reveal. But I am now……

A while back, I did this thing: I sent a random message, thanking a few of my precious business/motivational connections for just being so fecking ridiculous (this is the GOOD version of ridiculous by the way) and they not only replied but were so sweet and encouraging (yet again) in their returned messages. However, one reply in particular started the cogs turning in my wee mind because this is what I read, “…..you always sound so cheerful on Facebook – but I know it’s not all sh*ts and giggles………having a great crew who understand it is such a help.”

Then. Only a few nights after this particular message, I found a rather touching and personal blog post by a Science/Health blogger. It was very raw, honest and open. Her post touched on the fact that we’re all human and whilst we may have a lot of answers for health etc, it doesn’t mean life automatically falls into line and complies with all those fabulously, good and healthy choices. Life can throw curve balls, work and family can be demanding and none of us humans are superheroes (darn) Our bodies will play nice for so long until one day it might just flick us the bird and say, “Sort yourself out or else….”

And then! Just this week, I had the opportunity to share coffee with a beautiful soul. It was in the sharing of our latest wins, fails and future business and life dreams (we don’t get to catch up very often so when we do, we cover EVERYthing!) the final link in the chain of my very own “Ah-HA!” moment occurred!

Some backstory:

My heart beats for Love Relationships. I utterly adore and LOVE my Mr HunBal and we crazy love the love that we share. It also floats my boat/yanks my chain/tickles me pink when I see others share a common goal for a Scrumptiously Gorgeous Forever Love Relationship.

So! From a private message, to a blog post, to a coffee catch, the light bulb has gone from a fizzle to a defined, potentially blinding beam. I’ve come to see that through my blogging, social media-ing and even chats about Love Relationships, the Love Relationship that Mr Hunbal and I share, could actually be incorrectly perceived as just all rainbows and lollipops!

…and Unicorns!

I’ve now found cause to ponder and in said pondering, I believe that, from my heart to uplift and encourage other Love Relationships, I’ve chosen to highlight the wonderfulness of what Love Relationships can be. Which, on it’s own, makes sense right? For example: Social Media, whilst fabulous and convenient for maintaining connections and keeping up with all the latest and greatest, it really is only a sample of reality. Even then, that can be up for negotiation, so when I post something personal, it’s generally NOT how I’m having the sh*ttiest of shite days because my period is due and I’m furious at the coffee machine. BLOODY HORMONES!!

No. I haven’t posted about that.

Instead: I’d post a funny quote or meme that has made me laugh and feel a tiny bit better, even if just for a minute.

My facebook connections have also not heard about how Mr HunBal and I just had a disagreement over how to handle situation XYZ, or how we just snapped at each other because for some insane reason I had the sleep from hell, or work is actually stressing the man out.

Nope.

Instead: I’ll post some crazy-assed status at some random thing a child did or said that took my mind to a happy place……or a ridiculous Minion meme about how my mouth operates faster than my brain. True story.

In conversations and over Social Media, the penny has FINALLY dropped that perhaps there is this skewed view that we have this Love Relationship thing all down pat. That we have it totally together. No glitches. No oops. No stuff-ups. We operate in a “Love Relationship Shangri La.”

Oh my. It’s finally smacked me right between the eyes.

In a good way.

Light bulbs have gone off at alarming rates.

In a good way.

Firstly, I will confess to you that at no point have the Mr and I made a deliberate decision to be secretive about the glitches we’ve experienced within our own Love Relationship.

I have however, (in my ponderings) deduced that it’s simply been through our own, nurtured and practiced way of doing things, together and as a team, dealing with any struggles we may face, together and as a team, working through any differings of our strong opinions, together and as a team, that by doing it this way, we have accidentally portrayed that our relationship fashizzle is all golden paved, no weeds, just a path lined with diamonds and Unicorns, glittering and shimmering in the light, whilst fluffing out rainbows! Because, that’s how we handle things. Together and as a team………..On our Unicorns.

Okeedokee then. So. Whilst we DO do things together and as a team, there are no Unicorns. Yet.

What we DO do and what we have created, nurtured and practiced throughout our eighteen or so years of being together is, we’ve taken lessons from the glitches and focused on and reinforced the wonderfulness that is our Love Relationship of Mr and Mrs HunBal.

From the beginning of finding our feet within our Love Relationship, creating foundations that would be strong and robust to see us through to Forever, we have established our own way of dealing with those uncomfortable, challenging, sometimes painful, sometimes angsty moments that come our way. And we have had them. And we still have them.

Oh to be sure, to be sure, to be sure……..

So that message of, “…..you always sound so cheerful on Facebook – but I know it’s not all sh*ts and giggles!……..”, as well as one honest, raw blog post and now a fabulous coffee catch up, stirred me to FINISH writing this to you.

Because the perception of a Love Relationship Shangri La is totally and utterly skewed and unrealistic.

It is my heart (our heart!) to see Love Relationships not just be good, but thrive and be the Scrumptiously, Gorgeous Forever Love Relationships that they can be!

Therefore, with a Facebook message, a blog post and a coffee catch up now in the back of my mind, I want to encourage you that…….it’s NOT all sh*ts and giggles. It’s NOT all unicorns fluffing rainbows and Love Relationships CAN BE (read WILL BE) challenging. Stretching. Sometimes draining. Sometimes confusing.

BUT!

BUT!

BUT!

Love Relationships can absolutely be just gloriously and feckingly amazing!! What’s more, I 100% believe that they are absolutely and utterly supposed to beTrue story.

Always smooth sailing? Nope.

Heartwarmingly rewarding? YES!!

Walk in the park? Nope.

An adventure and a fulfilling experience? YES!!

  • I believe that you absolutely CAN have that Scrumptiously, Gorgeous Forever Love Relationship where you wake up Every. Single. Day. FOREVER and feel completely grateful for the partner that you are sharing your world, your inner most, deepest you with.
  • I believe that Love Relationships are not to be existed within but to be lived to their fullest!
  • I believe in a Love Relationship where two beings are intertwined emotionally, spiritually, physically……and yet, neither one lose sight of who they are – that unique, precious, important individual.

AND!

  • I truly truly TRULY believe that your Love Relationship ENHANCES this……it does not stifle nor bury nor eliminate who YOU are as that scrummy unique individual!
  • I believe that Love Relationships are meant to be Empowering and Freeing, NOT demeaning, trapping and life sucking.

AND!

  • I believe that Love Relationships take effort, commitment, work, patience, trial and error, the good with the bad and are brilliantly rewarding!

 

Which is whyyyyyyy…….

…….my promise to you is to ensure I absolutely share about the bumps as well as the sparkles………

 

Because Mr HunBal and I are human.

Just like you.

 

Ju xx