I was going to write a slightly ranty post. I had my high horse primed, set, polished and ready to go. I had warmed my blogging typing ‘voice’ and was preparing to “cut loose mother goose” and unapologetically state my standpoint and share one serious piece of my mind!
Then, in a moment of pause, and to collect my wildly running thoughts, I mindlessly scrolled my facebook page and there it was……
“Before you jump to conclusions – Mindfulness.
Before you allow assumptions to run rampant in your head – Mindfulness.
Before you judge harshly someone else’s life, situation or circumstance – Mindfulness.”
Soooo *ahem* rather sheepishly, I packed down my oh-so-shiny pulpit of self-justification, I put away my sound system and then tethered up and contained that mother goose. She won’t be cutting loose today. With further plans of, “not ever”. But I still kept this post’s title….. *winky grins*
Assumptions and judgement on someone else’s life and relationship can be rather destructive. I’ve lost friendships because of assumptions. Does this make me sad? Yes.….and no. ‘Yes’, because of the connection that once was but ‘No’ because of the lack of freedom there was to be authentic and true to self. The inability to be authentic?? It’s such a stifling and suffocating place to live! But…..did I f&ck up? Yes. Have I assumptioned and judgey-fied as well? Yes. Am I ok with that? No.
Yet this is why I’m typing this post now……except from a much softer standpoint than originally intended *wink*
That’s how I want to be, how I desire and crave deeply to be. Authentic, yet also Mindful. And when uninvited judgement and assumptions are heaped on me, on my life, my relationship, I want to be more gracious in my non-acceptance of these misguided and ill-placed thoughts and words.
Such an easy thing to say though isn’t it?? But wow, so much harder to actually do when emotions are rife, eeeeeespeciallyyyyyy when Aunty Flo is bashing down the door. Yes. Aunty Flo. I refuse to bless any of her cotton socks. B&atch.
But I digress…..
Once upon a time, the Mr and I were said to be “too happy.” We couldn’t possibly be as happy as we were without there being an underlying issue or problem. Clearly, we were covering up something. Next on the list is being painted as having “a charmed life.” Nothing we’ve done has come about by smart choices, deliberate action and hard work. We’ve fluked our way to here. Aaaand finally, we’re “just lucky” because of the depth and “success” of our relationship. We haven’t put any hard yards in. We’ve rolled a dice with only seven’s on it. Yes. Sevens. Because that’s lucky…..
I’ll be honest, that paragraph I just typed? It irritated me. Truly. So, you may be able to imagine now that my first draft of this entire post was quite the frustrated, annoyed, slightly self-righteous one, complete with metaphorical finger gestures and scattered with colourful words, “just to make a point”.
But then. I saw it….
I had to get really real and brutally honest with myself……”When I observe other’s successes how do I want to be?”
I want to be EXCITED for them! I want to be mindfully supportive. I want to know that I know that I know that I am not pulling on my ASS-umey knickers of, “Well, that’s because they have XYZ they could do that…..” or pulling my judgey pants of, “Well, they’re just lucky because…..” over the top of my ASS-umey knickers.
Are you getting it?
You and I, we don’t know each other’s full stories. You and I, we don’t know every step we’ve taken to get to where we each are today.
…..but look at you………!!
You’re wonderful! You are truly beautiful! Your heart is precious and your family, scrumptious! You are one amazing human being doing the best you can with what you have right now!
And so am I.
So, I want you to listen carefully to this next bit, because it’s important…..super important!
“It’s none of Your business what anyone else thinks of You and Your choices.”
And unless you specifically invite someone in, specifically open yourself to their thoughts and ideas…..if you haven’t specifically done that?? Well then. They can just go and grab a bag with a whole pile of shoosh in it, designed especially for them! *grins*
Mindfulness. *happy sigh*
Mindfulness over assumptions and judgement is a far more beautiful and peaceful place to be.