A natural human instinct is to compare ourselves to others. There is such a trap when it comes to comparing your Love Relationship.
We catch ourselves peeking over the fence, comparing ‘their’ green grass to our own. Ourselves, our circumstances, our relationships…..envy, jealousy, disappointment….these emotions (and more) are cultivated when we begin to believe that ‘their’ grass outshines our own seemingly shabby patch.
Why fence hopping is bad
Apart from the potential splinters in rather uncomfy places, when we throw ourselves over the fence, falsely believing that we are about to encounter ‘better’, it’s usually upon closer inspection that we find their grass isn’t any more shiny than our own. Perhaps it was merely the effect of sun glare bouncing off at just the right angle, creating the shiny?
However, what if, upon closer inspection, the grass is in fact, fake? And if not fake, when you stick your nose in closer and prod around, the soil is dry. Perhaps it’s riddled with bugs or worse! The dreaded three corner jacks lurk at the base of the blades, poised, ready to cause immense pain in unsuspecting naked feet! Oh sweet mother of a broomstick, how they hurt!
Hey! What if their grass IS actually greener?
After a graceful/ungraceful dismount from your fence hurdle, what happens if you DO find their grass to be more genuinely lush and shiny than your own? Greener. Healthier. Is this a sign that you should pull up pegs on your own side of the fence, abandon your own patch and move over? NO! *insert incredibly annoying wrong answer buzzer sound here* Don’t be fooled into thinking that only their greener grass will make you happier than your own patch. It just won’t.
In a simple nutshell, it is highly likely they are doing things differently with their grass to allow lushness and glorious colours of green to occur.
Don’t risk a sliced leg, knock on the door!
“Once upon a time a ball went over the fence and instead of going to the front door, the attempt was made to climb over the fence…..it did not end well. Cue stitches.
Instead of sneaking a climb over the fence, risking sliced and splintered limbs just because you’re trying to work out the secret of their green grass success, ASK. Knock on the front door….and ASK.
It is not a sign of weakness to ask, to admit that your grass really could be a little greener and a bit healthier. The heart of the majority of humans is to help. Asking will more often than not be met with advice, thoughts, help and guidance…..skills that you can take back to your own patch, use and then reap the rewards of lushness and importantly, glorious greens that are sustainable.
A delivery of baked goods never went astray….. *wink*
So often, we compare. They have the better something…..the better marriage. The better life……..the better love…..
Rest assured that that “Better” Love Relationships was not pulled from a derriere. Those relationships that appear more lush and shiny either aren’t and what you’re seeing is just surface appearances……Or! The Love Relationship IS in fact, lush and green, with a certain shine to it……
Green grass never came from neglect.
Spend time in your own patch, not lusting over the fence. Don’t yearn for someone else’s patch of hard work. Put the time into your own patch. Learn what the successful Love Relationships do. Research how to cultivate lushness and glorious greens. Most importantly, like any new or out of practice skill, do it. Then do it some more. Then do it again. And keep doing it.
There is no magic bean to growing a scrumptious Love Relationship. It’s consistent elbow grease……
Now go and sprinkle some serious Love on your patch!!!!